21 December 2014
Today, we were blessed to be able to attend the Christmas Sacrament meeting in the Canyon Hills ward with Anne visiting. It was a wonderful collection of Christmas Hymns on organ, piano, clarinet duets. The organ was fabulously coupled with piano with congregational singing with all the Christmas hymns. However, the huge problem that I had was that I was absolutely overcome with the Spirit and as if I would be nearly overcome with the Spirit to the extent that I would literally be like one of the Book of Mormon kings when having the gospel preached to them and fell unconscious. It was so great. I cried through all the Kleenexes that Mom had and after it finished I felt unable to continue and asked Anne to take me home. I literally did not feel my heart to take any more! This holiday season, I am overwhelmingly grateful for where I am in my life right now: my cancer while certainly the hardest challenge in my life to date is at the same time the largest blessing of the Spirit because literally everyday, I feel the Lord reaching out to me, supporting me and blessing me and my family and that truly every day. I know that He is all powerful and is in charge. I have turned my life over to Him. I pray that He wants me to continue here with our temple service and whatever else my health allows.
Since writing last we have made to bold step of putting an offer in on a house here in Texas. It is an older home, which also means smaller mortgage, more manageable and less income to require being made up after I am out of the military, translated meaning less money that my life's love needs to make up by working more. It is somewhat smaller than the home we are renting now, but has a wonderful yard and spirit in the home. It has a three car garage. It will be a challenge to fit into, but a home big enough for that not to be the case would have made the payments too big to tolerate after I am out of the military. So, we are closing just after the new year, 2015 and planning on moving in February. We have some modest changes we want to make to the home before moving in, hoping to not break the bank in doing them.
We have also been called to be temple workers. We have a Saturday afternoon shift each week, which is becoming a great blessing in doing that. Something that I have honestly thought would be wonderful for a long time. We have also done a lot of family names, just over 200 ordinances, which is wonderful too!
On my cancer topic, I have been allowed to join a study which hopes to get antibodies to my tumor cells to get across the blood brain barrier to my tumor where they would attach to the tumor cells and attract killer T-cells, my own immunity to kill them. That is the hope. It is a phase 1 study called MEDI 4736 from Zenecall. It works very well for melanoma and lung cancer, but is brand new from GBM to the tune on only having 20-30 people nation-wide on the study. To date, my MRI has became stable, meaning stopped growing. My most recent was Friday, which we will hear about tomorrow. It is alway a terrifying appointment to receive the results.
Another opportunity which we had during 4-5 treatments ago was meeting another GBM patient who told us of an Christian author who she herself had cancer many years ago and has since written several books about her experiences and those of many other cancer patients whom she meets in job as a social worker in an oncology office, where she meets with all new cancer patients. She has a prayer group weekly and relates in these books how many people approaching living with the diagnosis of cancer. The Titles of the books are "When God and Cancer Meets" and "Living in the shadow of cancer". I have found them to be greatly helpful and have gained lots on insight in others' cancer journey and how God has helped them in their lives. I have found how others have met the cancer struggle with God's help and strength to be very uplifting and helpful.
My running has morphed gradually to walking. I still have a hope of changing it back to running as it makes me feel vital and alive. I ran a little today. I continue to track my walking and small amount of running--hopping to change it back to running during this wonderful Texas Winter weather. I have walked about 990 miles since last August, so that is at least something and something for which I am exceedingly grateful. and Grateful that my current treatments allow me to do so.
So, today again I have felt my Savior's love as intensely as any time in my life and want to record that here. I love him with absolutely every fiber of my whole soul and KNOW totally that He and my Father in Heaven have me and my life in their able hands. God has all power and knows exactly my future. He started preparing me for this cancer intense experience with His Holy Spirit literally years before it started, so I know my future is not of any surprise to him and I have every expectation that He will continue to bless us. As for me and my family we testify of His reality and interest in my cancer journey. Looking back our lives have been literally filled with Tender Mercies from Him since Aust 2013and I am sure that he will not leave us now or ever. I praise and love him and testify of His reality. What a wonderfully fabulous time of year to celebrate the birth of the Savior. May we all strive to have the wonderful Spirit of this Season with us in our lives everyday! We can totally always feel His presence each and every day. May that be so!
I will keep you posted. Love to all, Dad, Rich, Dr J or whatever I am to each of you. Thank you for your presence in my and our lives. Love and Hugs to all!
Today, we were blessed to be able to attend the Christmas Sacrament meeting in the Canyon Hills ward with Anne visiting. It was a wonderful collection of Christmas Hymns on organ, piano, clarinet duets. The organ was fabulously coupled with piano with congregational singing with all the Christmas hymns. However, the huge problem that I had was that I was absolutely overcome with the Spirit and as if I would be nearly overcome with the Spirit to the extent that I would literally be like one of the Book of Mormon kings when having the gospel preached to them and fell unconscious. It was so great. I cried through all the Kleenexes that Mom had and after it finished I felt unable to continue and asked Anne to take me home. I literally did not feel my heart to take any more! This holiday season, I am overwhelmingly grateful for where I am in my life right now: my cancer while certainly the hardest challenge in my life to date is at the same time the largest blessing of the Spirit because literally everyday, I feel the Lord reaching out to me, supporting me and blessing me and my family and that truly every day. I know that He is all powerful and is in charge. I have turned my life over to Him. I pray that He wants me to continue here with our temple service and whatever else my health allows.
Since writing last we have made to bold step of putting an offer in on a house here in Texas. It is an older home, which also means smaller mortgage, more manageable and less income to require being made up after I am out of the military, translated meaning less money that my life's love needs to make up by working more. It is somewhat smaller than the home we are renting now, but has a wonderful yard and spirit in the home. It has a three car garage. It will be a challenge to fit into, but a home big enough for that not to be the case would have made the payments too big to tolerate after I am out of the military. So, we are closing just after the new year, 2015 and planning on moving in February. We have some modest changes we want to make to the home before moving in, hoping to not break the bank in doing them.
We have also been called to be temple workers. We have a Saturday afternoon shift each week, which is becoming a great blessing in doing that. Something that I have honestly thought would be wonderful for a long time. We have also done a lot of family names, just over 200 ordinances, which is wonderful too!
On my cancer topic, I have been allowed to join a study which hopes to get antibodies to my tumor cells to get across the blood brain barrier to my tumor where they would attach to the tumor cells and attract killer T-cells, my own immunity to kill them. That is the hope. It is a phase 1 study called MEDI 4736 from Zenecall. It works very well for melanoma and lung cancer, but is brand new from GBM to the tune on only having 20-30 people nation-wide on the study. To date, my MRI has became stable, meaning stopped growing. My most recent was Friday, which we will hear about tomorrow. It is alway a terrifying appointment to receive the results.
Another opportunity which we had during 4-5 treatments ago was meeting another GBM patient who told us of an Christian author who she herself had cancer many years ago and has since written several books about her experiences and those of many other cancer patients whom she meets in job as a social worker in an oncology office, where she meets with all new cancer patients. She has a prayer group weekly and relates in these books how many people approaching living with the diagnosis of cancer. The Titles of the books are "When God and Cancer Meets" and "Living in the shadow of cancer". I have found them to be greatly helpful and have gained lots on insight in others' cancer journey and how God has helped them in their lives. I have found how others have met the cancer struggle with God's help and strength to be very uplifting and helpful.
My running has morphed gradually to walking. I still have a hope of changing it back to running as it makes me feel vital and alive. I ran a little today. I continue to track my walking and small amount of running--hopping to change it back to running during this wonderful Texas Winter weather. I have walked about 990 miles since last August, so that is at least something and something for which I am exceedingly grateful. and Grateful that my current treatments allow me to do so.
So, today again I have felt my Savior's love as intensely as any time in my life and want to record that here. I love him with absolutely every fiber of my whole soul and KNOW totally that He and my Father in Heaven have me and my life in their able hands. God has all power and knows exactly my future. He started preparing me for this cancer intense experience with His Holy Spirit literally years before it started, so I know my future is not of any surprise to him and I have every expectation that He will continue to bless us. As for me and my family we testify of His reality and interest in my cancer journey. Looking back our lives have been literally filled with Tender Mercies from Him since Aust 2013and I am sure that he will not leave us now or ever. I praise and love him and testify of His reality. What a wonderfully fabulous time of year to celebrate the birth of the Savior. May we all strive to have the wonderful Spirit of this Season with us in our lives everyday! We can totally always feel His presence each and every day. May that be so!
I will keep you posted. Love to all, Dad, Rich, Dr J or whatever I am to each of you. Thank you for your presence in my and our lives. Love and Hugs to all!
2 comments:
Dad, thank you for writing. I love hearing your testimony. You are incredible. Thank you for your strength and love and amazing positivity. I wish every day I could live close by so as to hug you every single day. But I also know that Heavenly Father is taking great care of you and mom. Thank goodness for stretchy Temple glue! I love you forever dad!
Beautiful testimony as usual. I never tire of hearing it and appreciate you writing and sharing this most personal journey with us. Love you and I love Katie's reference to temple stretchy glue. It is a wonderful thing.
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