WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014
Round Two: 4 April 2014
Wow, lots of time has gone by since last I wrote: we have moved to Texas, moved down the road 3.3 miles to a bigger house at 1623 Mountain Cove, had monthly chemo from Nov through March, planned to have 12 months, but ended up with 5 months. I had 4 MRIs at San Antonio Military Medical Center until a worrisome area developed deep to my previous tumor cavity and I was recommended my multiple people to have it removed, so I did now last Thursday, so I am now post op day number 5. I do not seem to be bouncing back so fast as the first time. we have so far investigated MD Anderson for studies for recurrent glioblastoma. Tomorrow we are going to Central Texas Cancer Research Center to see if they have any recommendations. We are still waiting for the pathology report other than the verbal report from the surgeon who said id did not look active, which is obviously a wonderful report. I am still having dizziness and clumsiness with my typing and piano playing and have not been given the go ahead for any jogging. I have felt deswegen pretty down and tearful. We have had many people come to our aid, including Liza from Salt Lake. So, I know that the Lord is staying close to us and supporting us. I will write more later.
Yesterday, we went to a San Antonio cancer center, Central Texas Research Center. We got a lot to think about from a catheter into the tumor cavity and pumping in slowly some radioactive something to kill it there. Seems radiation is the best killer of brain tumor, but the brain will not tolerate enough to kill it. This was you can give in the 300s Gray vs up to 80 Gray. If I were a dog or a rat, it would work well. This is the only study where any mention of the "tumor went away" comes up. All the rest are a couple of months average increased survival. there are two other fancy gene studies, one is a gene on an adenovirus, a cold virus, which targets blood vessel liner cells and does not let them grow, you get an IV of cold virus every two months. The other one is a protein on a particle which makes the blood brain barrier grab it and transport it into the brain cells along with taxol, which has been around forever for ovarian cancer. No study is before 4 weeks post-op and they also have to have measurable tumor, which I do not know if I have at this point as the neurosurgeon reports margins on his resection. MRI postop will answer that question and we do not have those reports/ disc as of yesterday. Today the report will get sent to my by my great Oncologist, Dr Haney.
During the night last night, I feel like I did sleep some, but I had the company of my dark thoughts--mostly about my dear wife and putting her through this. This process is so hard. Here we are settled i Texas. We are getting hooked up with research settings and cancer treatment which I feel are sound and good for me/ us. BUT the Army is going to want to Board me, I think as soon as some one looks at the cost associated with these studies, etc. As long as I am active duty, the cost comes from the operating budget of SAMMC, so I think that now there is an unending list of potential next steps since have recurrence with the standard radiation followed by Temodar x 1 year, and MEB will result. So, the outcome of that is that I will be retired. Then, I will have to name where I am going to be and our stuff from storage will be sent to that location, wherever that is. If it is here were we are set up medically, then we will be here. Someday when the studies fail and Heavenly Father takes me home, Bec will be left alone here in Texas, which would be terrible for her. So, do we leave the medical care here and go to Utah, where I do not feel I will have as readily available medical care as we do here?? My constant and overwhelming plea to y Heavenly Father is that I can live long enough to have my love set up somewhere, all the time intensely hoping that He will see to it to let me be here for some time still. My dear love has received several strong answers to prayer that she will have me for a decent amount of time still, which I know is for eternity, but that is hard. I absolutely know that there is a life after death and that God will take me home and I will be met by relatives gone ahead, Ranae, Grandma and Grandpa, but then I will be separated from my dear Becky and the children and grandchildren. What to do? Studies, where to retire to. All that I know is that I clawing hold to the plan of Happiness with every fiber of my being. Without that I would be totally lost and could not face another single day.
I do not want to make anyone sad or to feel sorry for me. I know that God and His Son love me and us all and that this is an experience which will benefit me forever. I love you all and thanks for standing by us, particularly please stand by my dearest Becky. More later. Rich/Dad.
Yesterday, we went to a San Antonio cancer center, Central Texas Research Center. We got a lot to think about from a catheter into the tumor cavity and pumping in slowly some radioactive something to kill it there. Seems radiation is the best killer of brain tumor, but the brain will not tolerate enough to kill it. This was you can give in the 300s Gray vs up to 80 Gray. If I were a dog or a rat, it would work well. This is the only study where any mention of the "tumor went away" comes up. All the rest are a couple of months average increased survival. there are two other fancy gene studies, one is a gene on an adenovirus, a cold virus, which targets blood vessel liner cells and does not let them grow, you get an IV of cold virus every two months. The other one is a protein on a particle which makes the blood brain barrier grab it and transport it into the brain cells along with taxol, which has been around forever for ovarian cancer. No study is before 4 weeks post-op and they also have to have measurable tumor, which I do not know if I have at this point as the neurosurgeon reports margins on his resection. MRI postop will answer that question and we do not have those reports/ disc as of yesterday. Today the report will get sent to my by my great Oncologist, Dr Haney.
During the night last night, I feel like I did sleep some, but I had the company of my dark thoughts--mostly about my dear wife and putting her through this. This process is so hard. Here we are settled i Texas. We are getting hooked up with research settings and cancer treatment which I feel are sound and good for me/ us. BUT the Army is going to want to Board me, I think as soon as some one looks at the cost associated with these studies, etc. As long as I am active duty, the cost comes from the operating budget of SAMMC, so I think that now there is an unending list of potential next steps since have recurrence with the standard radiation followed by Temodar x 1 year, and MEB will result. So, the outcome of that is that I will be retired. Then, I will have to name where I am going to be and our stuff from storage will be sent to that location, wherever that is. If it is here were we are set up medically, then we will be here. Someday when the studies fail and Heavenly Father takes me home, Bec will be left alone here in Texas, which would be terrible for her. So, do we leave the medical care here and go to Utah, where I do not feel I will have as readily available medical care as we do here?? My constant and overwhelming plea to y Heavenly Father is that I can live long enough to have my love set up somewhere, all the time intensely hoping that He will see to it to let me be here for some time still. My dear love has received several strong answers to prayer that she will have me for a decent amount of time still, which I know is for eternity, but that is hard. I absolutely know that there is a life after death and that God will take me home and I will be met by relatives gone ahead, Ranae, Grandma and Grandpa, but then I will be separated from my dear Becky and the children and grandchildren. What to do? Studies, where to retire to. All that I know is that I clawing hold to the plan of Happiness with every fiber of my being. Without that I would be totally lost and could not face another single day.
I do not want to make anyone sad or to feel sorry for me. I know that God and His Son love me and us all and that this is an experience which will benefit me forever. I love you all and thanks for standing by us, particularly please stand by my dearest Becky. More later. Rich/Dad.
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